More On The Religious Trap

I was thinking about my last post and I would like to expand on what I touched on in the last part. If you haven't read it, you can read it here.

This is a subject that I find a lot of atheists don't understand.  Even some of the greatest minds in the atheist community often over-simplify or just look past why people are religious. I think if we give credit to their emotions and approach it with compassion and empathy we will be more effective in pointing out the objective reasoning we use. 

Of course, one of the things I love and appreciate about the atheist community is that there are no leaders and there is no dogma.  We all approach the world with our objective reasoning and through that debate we reach conclusions. Each of us has different areas of knowledge and different strengths and weaknesses. My point is that different approaches can work better or worse depending on the situation. Sometimes people will respond to something more abrasive or humorous then they will respond to an empathetic approach since they may confuse empathy for justification.  My goal of this post is to add my approach to the table using my experience as a genuine believer turned atheist. 

It seems to me that the main problem is one of communication. What we say isn't what a theist hears and what a theist says isn't what an atheist hears.  And even if we actually hear what they say, it is a matter of what you value that determines where you land on. I will use the story from my last post to better explain what it is that I am trying to say.

So when I had that simple but great experience on the mission, I assumed that it had been orchestrated from god. It seemed to make sense that god would inspire something to come my way in order to teach me and so that I could have a positive impact on someones life.  The thing is that this wan't an isolated incident. This kind of thing happened all the time before during and after the mission.  The fact is that things can and do work out, people often respond positively to a situation, and things can very easily feel serendipitous. It is comforting and hits a real need to think there is a heavenly parent out there that loves you and is taking care of you. The need to feel special, loved and to know you matter is pretty much universal. This is the basis for why people are religious (along with fear and the various aspects of our social needs). Obviously from an atheist's perspective, they are (and I was) just seeing what they want to see.  They are seeing randomness and cause and effect and applying a thinking and controlling deity to the situation. When people say "the evidence for god is in everything" we are seeing that this is only evidence that someone can see god in everything if they want, and nothing more. 

The thing I think atheists tend to miss is that someone who has an experience like this, is actually learning something about the human experience. They are learning about how to be a better person or a better father/mother, teacher, worker, etc... They are having powerful moments that they use to guide their lives.  The moments are real, the lessons are real, but the assumption that they come from god is not. This is where the problem comes in. When we say "Your church isn't true. There is no evidence and we should dismiss it and the idea of god" they hear "Those experiences you had didn't happen and if they did, they didn't matter because there was nobody watching out for you and caring for you"  Can you see why it is so easy to accept nonsense? They are basing the value of their existence on these experiences that they assume is communicating the truth to them. This is why the theists have such intense cognitive dissonance. This is also why they can be so stubborn to see reality. This is also why they view atheists lives as meaningless. They think these experience are exclusive to god and don't realize that we can have them too, the only difference is that we don't mix in the supernatural. We see it for what it is. If you can understand what they are hearing you can take that into account and better communicate.  It also helps to understand what they are trying to say.

Pay attention to what they are really saying when arguing about god. Going back to my story, it would be like if you told my there was not god.  I would think "but god inspired the mission president to tell a story so I could use it to have this great experience. So there is a god"  but I would say something like "I know there is a god" or "I have experience that there is a god". When you would point out the logical fallacies, I would feel cognitive dissonance but then go back to what I felt and have to assume that you just where seeing it wrong or that there was some explanation that you are missing.  Also, when they say something like "Jesus is my friend" or "I love Jesus" they are really saying "Those experiences are my friend" or "I love those experiences" and they are calling the experiences Jesus because they assume they came from him. 

If we are actually understanding each other, it often comes down to the atheist saying "I understand your experiences, but: logic." and the theist saying "I understand your logic, but: experiences." We value the logic and use it to explain the experiences and they value the experiences and use it to ignore or be selective about the logic. I think where we as atheists can improve is that we tend to use logic to invalidate the experiences. We need to understand that they are real and have an explanation (not god). We need to know that they have value in our lives and that we can use logic and science to understand them,.  Just don't be too quick to dismiss them. I think of the quote from Sam Harris "If someone doesn't value evidence, what evidence are you going to provide to prove they should value it? If someone doesn't value logic, what logical argument could you provide to show the importance of logic?" (Can be seen here).  I think that validating the experience can be a way that we can break down the barrier a little and we may be able to surgically remove the supernatural part while allowing them to still connect with those moments. It may be that it has to be destroyed down to have to be rebuilt, but there may be some other way.  

For me, it took being completely destroyed emotionally and a complete rejection of the past only to work my way back here. It was painful and lead to a suicide attempt.  As science and the internet keep invalidating religions and religious thought, there need to be people and places people can turn to as resources in rebuilding their lives. I hope to be one of those resources. If you read this and like it, please let me know. I could use the encouragement and support to keep blogging. I have to dive into some hard stuff as I continue and would like to know it is making a difference.